First Day of School

It is that time again. Wal-mart aisles are clogged with parents with school lists and screaming children. Morning traffic is about to pick back up again, mamas are driving their kiddies to school. And our parking lot is going to be packed. Our office is adjacent to two schools and we share the parking lot with one of the schools. So, the teachers' cars take up most of the space that was empty all summer long. And this morning, since it was registration day, was full of parents. Every spot was taken. The excitement was in the air. Moms rushing around, meeting teachers, putting their best foot forward. And looking forward to having someone else take care of the kids during the day.

I am sure that there is a lot of joy in motherhood. That is what everyone says, anyway. But, after sending them to school for an entire 10 months, then having them mope around the house for 9 weeks of summer....it has to be a relief to get them back into a routine. Especially a routine that someone else is responsible for.

Ellis and I talk about having kids. He is totally ready for them. I, on the other hand, am not. The change to our lifestyle, the extra laundry, the baby food, shopping for clothes for someone else besides me! I am selfish! I know it! It scares the hell out of me thinking about losing that.

I sometimes think that the best thing for me would be to accidentally get preggers. That way I have no choice. "Oops! Oh well, I guess we are going to have a baby." We are actually aligning our lives to be ready for a child. We just bought a bigger house in a good school district. We have a four door car in addition to our little 2 door Mercedes. The back yard is fenced in. My credit card is nearly paid off (well, "nearly" may not be the right word..."significant progress" or "JUST 9 more months!").

All that to say, one day, I, too, might be one of those moms. Crowding the aisles, buying supplies, new shoes, checking off the list, setting up the car pool. Every now and then I think, "Is this it? Is this all there is?" Then, I think that if I really needed a change, to mix my life up a little bit, all I need to do is not be careful. Oops.